Tuesday, March 8, 2011

for International Women's Day I had a 30 minute conversation about penises

Lesson learned: never spell check the plural of penis by Googling penises, especially while at work. But if you do, Top 10 Famous Penises will be the first to pop up (of course no pun intended, I'm so much better than that) and number 10 will be Milton Berle, which is all kinds of awesome.

The discussion of penises, has of late taken up a lot of my time, what with the 3 year old deciding of his own volition that he will indeed stand up while he pees which means I'm now keeping a roll of paper towels and a squeegee next to the toilet. If only I had a Sham-Wow. But I opted for the Slap Chop instead. I know, I'm kicking myself.

And so this morning as I held my breath, while my son swayed unsteadily in front of the toilet insisting he did not sit down to pee anymore (he turned around to tell me this, while still peeing) we had a few things to clear up. Mainly who in fact has a penis and who doesn't. As my son rhymed off every person he knew including all of our neighbors, Twist from The Fresh Beat Band, and my father, I was required to indicate the presence or absence of a penis.

The conclusion being that everyone has a penis.
Especially Milton Berle.

10 comments:

  1. Laughing at that! Reminds me of the time my cousin, a Grade 6 teacher, was demonstrating something for her computer class. I think she was showing them how to find clip art for Halloween on Google Images (or similar). On the projection screen, she inputted Candy. Let's just say it was all PG-13...

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  2. Does your son love Twist from the Fresh Beat Band as much as my daughter?
    My daughter loves to go through all the people she knows and identify whether they have a penis or a vagina. It is a fun game:)

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  3. I never want my son to learn he can pee standing up. I guess I will have to start getting my husband to pee sitting down. :-)

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  4. My friend just told me her daughter had asked why women couldn't have penis transplants, especially in countries with poor women's rights records. My daughter still often uses the term 'weenie' to refer to her vagina. Talk about conversations that need to be had on International Women's Day.

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  5. I am so glad I had daughters...I think

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  6. This made me chuckle. At 9 months, my boy is far from understanding any of this or asking questions but I'm super excited about conversations like these. Love how their little minds work.

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  7. we own a sham wow, and use it frequently. we have 3 boys, it's a requirement!

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  8. Love your writing style, I'm still laughing!!! I'm from New Brunswick and I'm trying to follow as many of my fellow Canadian bloggers as possible. I’m now your newest follower. Hope you have a chance to check out my blog, have a look around and maybe follow me back!!
    Monica
    http://oldermommystillyummy.blogspot.com/

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  9. I think guys standing up to pee is dumb. I intend to tell my son this too but I doubt he'll listen. In fact he'll probably pee on me while explaining how awesome it is to pee standing up. After all, how else would you get to pee on your mother?

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  10. This is something interesting making a blog related to penises because what is the real subject of this? I mean why to know more about it if everybody knows about it, well all of us are in the right to talk about we want.

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bitch please...