Remember when I was all like, "oh I think I want another baby but I'm just going to finish this bottle of wine first," while I clutched my uterus and limped drunkenly away. And then I started at a new school, had four days to clean out my new classroom (because of construction) which was straight out of an episode of Hoarders. As an aside hoarding is a major problem within the education community but I only have an undergrad. in psychology so I'm going to refrain from commenting further. And then I went through a whole bunch of culture shock related ailments due to coming from a small country school to now teaching in the downtown core, the constant sound of traffic and the number of available crossing guards is unnerving. And by ailments I mean finishing bottles of wine and obsessively Googling positive behaviour modification plans for children who throw sand and scream, "fuck off" from the top of the slide. But our grasp of the -uck word family is impressive, so we're on our way. Also my oldest started kindergarten in the midst of this wild, crazy September, with nary a complaint, which I was thankful for because I have bigger problems to contend with, like the sand throwing and the fucking off. But also my heart breaks a little at his big boyness, walking bravely away from me with his spiderman backpack. And his kindergarten teacher drives their class pet (obviously a hamster) around the classroom in a little car, so how can I even compete with that. But he says I do make the best lunches so that's something. Oh and the 2 year old has lost her damn mind but nobody was surprised much, and anyhow there is something almost melodic to the screeching of 'no' in rapid succession.
Just a typical September, move it along, nothing to see here.
Just ignore the chalk outlines.
Ah, September. I kind of can't wait for it to be over.
ReplyDeleteMy anniversary is in three days, my husband is in Geneva for a week, my daughter is playing with five-year-old moldy playdough and my son is playing the drums on his sister's butt. And these pumpkin seeds taste like ass. Run away to Tahiti with me?
ReplyDelete@Bibliomama Done!
ReplyDeleteoh wow! he's a schoolager!! I hope he has a fabulous year, the hamster driving is pretty impressive!
ReplyDeleteAW, they are growing up, off to school, telling you no : )
ReplyDeleteAs for the new job, I would wash the little buggers mouths out with soap and tell them a monster lives under the sandbox and eats children who throw it...but wait...I guess you could get fired for that these days..there was a reason I wasn't called for babysitting much as a teenager..
My mother-in-law recently retired as a first grade teacher. I'm pretty sure I'm going to have to enter therapy just to deal with the aftermath of helping clean out the room.
ReplyDeleteDoes this mean you're pregnant?
ReplyDeleteI'm deliberately not focusing on the other stuff because since I'm not going to be having any more babies, I now focus my attention on those that have the ability to have more babies.
So, yeah, are you? Huh, huh? Drunk baby making brought us our third. And she rocks.
No third!!
ReplyDeleteQuick, uncork another bottle.
ReplyDeleteHey wait a sec, I think that's how I got all those annoying sibs.
Hey! Can you give me the # of the kid who yells obscenities from the top of the slide? Would love to set up a play date with him!
ReplyDeleteIt's October now, just so you know.
ReplyDeleteso great story and well if you have wine share it so delicious and if you are pregnant wait for the wine you do not want to have a baby's drug
ReplyDelete