Sunday, October 9, 2011

I'll probably ride this holiday thing out until at least March

Because I`m supah busy, friends. And I have nothing to write about except that the kid who throws sand from the top of the slide has stopped, he`s moved to the swing but sand thrown from the swing doesn`t quite have the same velocity as sand thrown from the slide plus this kid`s aim is shitty, probably because its very hard to throw sand while swinging, also he knows as soon as he gets off that swing to scoop up sand I`m going to totally take his spot because swinging is like my sixth favourite thing to do and there`s no savesies.

And it being Canadian Thanksgiving (Canada could give a fuck about the pilgrims, but we celebrate the shit out of the harvest because it is tough as hell to get through the winter without a nearby Tim Horton`s or a Swiss Chalet) and we get all this thankfullness business out of the way in October because we be ho ho holding the payments in November. So I thought I would capitalize on our thankfulness for fall`s bounty and our anticipation of the festive special (it comes with a 3-pack of Lindor yo)and get a post out of it because I`m multi-tasky like that and my kids still won't go the fuck to bed so a lot of my time is taken up yelling from the bottom of the stairs.

So I give you: Things I'm Thankful For

clean sheet night: The perfect one night only when you change the sheets on your bed, before kids, cracker crumbs and sweaty man find their way into your bed.

Uncle John's Bathroom Reader: You gotta stay smart somehow

super absorbancy tampons
: That one's a stand alone.

nutella: Have you tried this shit, its the inside of a Ferrero Rocher. A Ferrero Rocher! But in a jar, a great big jar! Brilliant. And you can put it on toast and call it breakfast.

dogs that carry sticks in their mouths while walking
: You cannot not smile when you see a dog walking all jaunty, carrying a stick in their mouth. You just can't. Those dogs have their priorities right. They have their shit together.

black leggings: black leggings are the new yoga pants but instead of flip flops you wear a pair of bitching boots with them and a tunic. Who doesn't fucking love a tunic?

when Costco has Cottonelle on sale
: There is a lot of ass to wipe in this house and its best to do so on a budget.

Orgasisms: Again a stand alone.

The Sheepdogs album: First of all I love men with beards, also my kids like listening to it too and they're from Saskatoon (The Sheepdogs not my kids, although that would be really awesome). Beards from Saskatoon rock.

fall walks: My kids are like greyhounds they'll run for miles and we live near a lot of foresty, waterfront trails. Also I love fall and long walks by the water with the kids. Mainly because they say things like "I hope we see a really big beaver," and then the hubs and I giggle.

my son's kindergarten teacher: seriously that woman has her work cut out for her.

bangs: bangs are bangin.

oh yeah my kids, husband and health: After being asked why he was running around the gym riding his hockey stick like a horse during a sports program at the Y, my son pointedly declared he wasn't trying to ride a horse, he was in fact trying to saw his butt in half. Leading me to begrudgedly admit that I am indeed thankful for it all, even the butt sawing.

10 comments:

  1. I do! I do fuckin' love a tunic. And I've been known to delay clean sheet night by a day or two if my husband's about to leave on a trip just so I can keep the sweaty man out of it for even longer - is that wrong? And we went for a walk in the Gatineaus yesterday and my kids were mostly funny and entertaining and hardly whined about hating walking at all.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I am not sure you know how excited I am when I see you have a new blog post. I snort and giggle and my hubby wonders what I am giggling about. I really think I would like some bangin bangs. Happy Thanksgiving to you.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Heehee.

    And the internet, so thankful for the internet!

    xo

    ReplyDelete
  4. This was great! I'm all about Ferrero Rocher and the clean sheets. Happy Canadian Thanksgiving!

    ReplyDelete
  5. ha! sawing his butt in half? really? where do boys come up with this stuff! I'm thankful for boys! the beaver bit was pretty funny too, we would totally have a giggle if our kids said that too!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Dogs walking with sticks! Oh yes, I have two that each carry an end. Might be about my sixth favorite thing.
    I think you should call dibs on that swing before the first handful : )

    ReplyDelete
  7. i love the nether region thankfulness.

    i truly don't express enough gratitude for that subject.

    thank you for covering such an egregious oversight.

    ReplyDelete
  8. We have every Uncle Johns imaginable :)
    I agree with all of the above, especially leggings and well O's :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. hilarious, found you through the savvy mom blog roll, you're the funniest so far (I started at the end)

    ReplyDelete
  10. looks like you are really busy this weekend, maybe the next week you have some free time, please if you have it make a post about you did in the weekend, I love to read about your life.

    ReplyDelete

bitch please...