Jack Layton would have totally given unicorns a voice

I used to have thoughts. Big thoughts. Thoughts that were backed by theories or refuted them. Thoughts that raged against doctrination and advocated for the socially marginalized.(sad index finger moustache in memory of Jack Layton. As an aside and to illustrate what I'm talking about here, in and around the time of Jack Layton's death my son got some plastic orange super hero guy in a Happy Meal because sometimes I am just too damn tired to make an organic fair trade casserole. And when discussing possible names I thought why not name his new toy Jack Layton or maybe even Orange Crush, I mean it was the least he could fucking do, right? Didn't Jack Layton deserve that. But no. No. My son could give a shit about Jack Layton, or progressive social politics or advocating for the oppressed or even awesome mustaches. No, my son insists on Fireball. Fireball! He's probably going to vote conservative.)

But the idea here is that I used to think. About things. Things that didn't involve super heroes and fireballs and mono-horned mythical creatures.

But now? Now I'm in the shower listening to a heated discussion between my son and daughter. With my son maintaining that Spiderman is most obviously better than a unicorn and my daughter declaring that he has done lost his mind because unicorns so kick ass being that they can run really fast and are beautiful like princesses. To which my son came back with, superheroes can run really fast too and they can talk. They can talk a lot. And unicorns, he maintained, cannot talk. Or at least the real ones can't.

The real ones?

So now I mediate debates about superheroes and unicorns and my son lives for the most part in a fantasy world which can only mean he will vote conservative.

I'll probably ride this holiday thing out until at least March

Because I`m supah busy, friends. And I have nothing to write about except that the kid who throws sand from the top of the slide has stopped, he`s moved to the swing but sand thrown from the swing doesn`t quite have the same velocity as sand thrown from the slide plus this kid`s aim is shitty, probably because its very hard to throw sand while swinging, also he knows as soon as he gets off that swing to scoop up sand I`m going to totally take his spot because swinging is like my sixth favourite thing to do and there`s no savesies.

And it being Canadian Thanksgiving (Canada could give a fuck about the pilgrims, but we celebrate the shit out of the harvest because it is tough as hell to get through the winter without a nearby Tim Horton`s or a Swiss Chalet) and we get all this thankfullness business out of the way in October because we be ho ho holding the payments in November. So I thought I would capitalize on our thankfulness for fall`s bounty and our anticipation of the festive special (it comes with a 3-pack of Lindor yo)and get a post out of it because I`m multi-tasky like that and my kids still won't go the fuck to bed so a lot of my time is taken up yelling from the bottom of the stairs.

So I give you: Things I'm Thankful For

clean sheet night: The perfect one night only when you change the sheets on your bed, before kids, cracker crumbs and sweaty man find their way into your bed.

Uncle John's Bathroom Reader: You gotta stay smart somehow

super absorbancy tampons: That one's a stand alone.

nutella: Have you tried this shit, its the inside of a Ferrero Rocher. A Ferrero Rocher! But in a jar, a great big jar! Brilliant. And you can put it on toast and call it breakfast.

dogs that carry sticks in their mouths while walking: You cannot not smile when you see a dog walking all jaunty, carrying a stick in their mouth. You just can't. Those dogs have their priorities right. They have their shit together.

black leggings: black leggings are the new yoga pants but instead of flip flops you wear a pair of bitching boots with them and a tunic. Who doesn't fucking love a tunic?

when Costco has Cottonelle on sale: There is a lot of ass to wipe in this house and its best to do so on a budget.

Orgasisms: Again a stand alone.

The Sheepdogs album: First of all I love men with beards, also my kids like listening to it too and they're from Saskatoon (The Sheepdogs not my kids, although that would be really awesome). Beards from Saskatoon rock.

fall walks: My kids are like greyhounds they'll run for miles and we live near a lot of foresty, waterfront trails. Also I love fall and long walks by the water with the kids. Mainly because they say things like "I hope we see a really big beaver," and then the hubs and I giggle.

my son's kindergarten teacher: seriously that woman has her work cut out for her.

bangs: bangs are bangin.

oh yeah my kids, husband and health: After being asked why he was running around the gym riding his hockey stick like a horse during a sports program at the Y, my son pointedly declared he wasn't trying to ride a horse, he was in fact trying to saw his butt in half. Leading me to begrudgedly admit that I am indeed thankful for it all, even the butt sawing.