for Mother's Day I tried to ignore the kids but to no avail because in the end I am Mommy

From the archives on today of all days. Seriously people one day I will write again in this cozy little space, but right now there is gardening... (blissful sigh)

I am not a babysitter, a childcare worker, or a nanny
I carry a diaper bag not a purse
I live in a home filled with toys and stain guarded carpet, not an Ikea catalogue
I use a train table for a coffee table
and drink from plastic cups, not glasses
I answer to no one, not Barney, not Thomas, not Dora
I follow no rules and adhere to no schedule (except nap time)
I go to the park not the mall
and eat Cheerios and highchair left overs for lunch
I don't know where the potty is
...but we'll just pee right here in the parking lot
I own a mini-van not a Honda civic
and it comes fully loaded with diapers, wipes and snacks
Its called a sucky not a binky or a pacifier
And that smell, its Penaten
My shirts are stained, my hair is dirty
and I own 12 pairs of black yoga pants
I cook macaroni and cheese because that's what my kids like
I push strollers
I hold hands
I sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star
and that is his indoor voice
I breastfeed, wipe bums and check my email
all at the same time
I kiss boo boos, I check for monsters
and yes we will have a time out in the grocery store
We say penis and vagina, not wiener or bun
I have read Good Night Moon 11,329 times
now its 11,330
I will proudly feed my baby where ever I want
and it won't be in a public washroom
No I won't cover up and yes you can see my stretch marks
My kids are not angels but
I reserve the right to tell you all the cute things they say
in a baby voice
I will count to 3
and I will use my grumpy words
I finish sentences with, "because I said so"
and "I'll wait for manners"
I can stop a whine with a look
I recognize the dangers in silence
and will discipline your child if the situation arises
I go to bed at 9:00 but don't go to sleep until 9:30
and I always remember to turn the baby monitor back on after sex
I appreciate the appeal of a nice pair of cotton panties
and will never go bra-less again
I was not born into motherhood but I'm really starting to like it
to one little girl and one little boy I am everything
to them
I am Mommy.